Well, how’s this for a grand return?
I realized what all the truth telling did. Set me completely free.
It took 8 years of waiting ever so patiently just to do this. The keyword is “trust”. I realized I gained that overtime by the right people. I worked so hard in all that I dreamed to make a reality. It was finally time to do something I didn’t think would come so immediate for my new life.
And that meant move into the heart of the reality I once feared. But this time, it became a necessary decision to see my true self. The broken child who wondered who would save him. The one who cried his eyes out from his own traumatic thoughts haunting his happiness. He once thought the on & off torture would never end. But that was only because the lack of using his own voice to curse it all out. All was remembered as the words came together.
I said so this is what it feels like to finally win. To permanently win actually. I had to finally give no fucks & just do it. I gave my own permission to load the chopper & let it rain on everyone.
And then I just kept it moving ever since. I walked to places I remembered being at as a child. The flashbacks were there. I saw the old homes I lived in during my early years. The flashbacks were there. I’ve repeatedly checked myself in the mirror. The flashbacks of when I gazed into my own eyes was there.
And now I can remember that I could feel urges to want to cause unnecessary havoc in the same world I’ve been in for over 20 years now. I’m still here presently. I did say I was cleansed in 2021. And since then, there is no fear or shame in me. I am awake. The gifted awake. Where everyone sees that there was absolutely nothing to ever worry about so long as my eyes see what lies ahead. They’ve been able to see vividly for 23 years. So my eyes did not ever deceive me at all what I saw in my realities. A total eye witness to things you wouldn’t think is possible to see. Such as seeing me drive alone.
So many questions would raise wonder to who even trusts me to do that. But it wouldn’t be any of your concern since I carry the experience & credentials to be trusted. The whole time I did. It was just the wonder of when It would finally be used.
It has been 5 years since I graduated from high school. It has been a 5 year journey of just learning how to live in this world. If I really did not learn anything in these 5 years then I’d be as good as dead. I noticed my own aging process. It’s just a number, but the body, mind & spirit improved to godlike levels reminding myself how I was before the Lord entered my life. I wake up with no worries at all.
It was her that took all my worries away. All the punishing I did to myself was mended. Such an unforgettable name she’s blessed with. A perfect match I said she is to me.
It feels like divine timing with us. Her name being “Angel” alone puts me to rest. Its like an ultimate victory. I need not ever be insecure about myself ever again. This is what it feels like to be the so-called “chosen one” in reality.
The simple life with a simple love was all I prayed for. I am charged with unlimited motivation to proudly live as who I am born as. That is the person that is loved the most. It is my true human identity after all.
I am only human, but I carry the gifts that make me a magical one. That self doubt can really block your blessings without you ever realizing it. And sadly, self doubt is a you problem. Whatever it would take to kill it would be you having to return to the very problem that first caused it. And END it once & for ALL.
Whatever prophecy or belief that was placed on me too early needed to be severely corrected in time by me. And I always had the element of surprise for that day which could have been any day.
The self doubt of a child would prolong it over & over even as his body grows with his age. What happened 5 years ago became 5 years later. What could have been said 10 years ago became 10 years later. What could have been prevented 20 years ago became 20 years later.
And now here we are…..Stephon.
Have you finally come to terms with the word “done” at last?
No….because there are still new beginnings.
If I was done, I know I would not still be present here. It is just that simple to realize now.